How to Become "That Girl"

Hi everyone!

Thank you ALL for being so patient with me as I navigate life outside of college. I've been #EXHAUSTED and it has been so fucking hard navigating life outside of undergrad. I kind of envisioned moving in with the love of my life after college and that did NOT happen LMFAOOOOO.

I have designed a life in my mind since I have been a little girl. I thought I was going to be this a mom, a housewife, work as a teacher. But, instead I became a POWERFUL woman who's getting her MBA, goes to the gym, eats good, takes care of herself, looks good, and writes her own blog/podcast LMFAOOO! #period asffff

I started thinking about my life and realized I am really "That Girl." But, it took A LOT to get there and it's gonna get super DEEP in a second LMAO.

Now, you might be sitting here like "WTF does "That Girl" mean? At first, I thought being "That Girl" meant that everyone wanted to be the same. Kinda like the girl who has it all, kinda like Regina George #meangirls

But, after reflection, I realized that being "That Girl" is literally whatever you want it to be.

For me, being "That Girl" is aligning with the highest version of myself that God intended me to be.

For you, it could be drinking more water or treating yourself to more Starbucks Venti iced Caramel Latte's (them shits be poppin'). But, honestly, being "That Girl" is all relative. What do you want it to look like? Next, you need to actually execute the things you want to do. Like, BABE, YOU BETTER WORK BITCH.

If you wanna be an instagram model, go take the fucking pictures. Why are you sitting around doing nothing? You wanna be a YouTuber? Why aren't you learning everything you can about how to edit and record videos? You wanna lose weight? Why aren't you going to the gym?

EVERYTHING YOU DO IN THIS LIFE REQUIRES WORK. IF YOU WANT TO BE "THAT GIRL," YOU BETTER WORK BITCH!

WHAT DO YOU WANT AND WHY AREN'T YOU GOING TO GET IT?

Lately, I have been hella fucking JEALOUS! I recently realized if you wanna be "That Girl" You gotta let go of that #hater mentality and be a girl for the girls. Also, jealousy is a pretty nasty emotion. It also doesn't align with who I AM as a person.

Now, I am gonna be #real as FUCK here!

Recently, I met THIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE TALL KNOCK OUT and she just has it ALL. To me, she was "That Girl." She has these BEAUTIFUL long eyelashes, perfect teeth, clean porcelain white skin, ocean blue eyes, and this LUCIOUS GORGEOUS HEALTHY blonde hair (all natural), and this fucking killer body. *eyeroll*

So, naturally, I hated her. *giggles* But, on the outside I was "pleasant" (actually, idk I decided to ignore her and not talk to her because everyone would compliment her all the time and I didnt want to succumb to being like everyone else) LMAOOOOO

Dude, I'm gonna be real. Everything this girl did pissed me off. She would breathe and I would be like "ugh, she even breathes perfectly! Literally, WHAT THE FUCK?!?!" She seriously could have been the nicest person on the planet, but I HATED her because she seemed to have everything, that I THOUGHT I didn't.

To me, she was seriously "That GIRL"

(As you can tell.. pretty blonde girls make me insecure)

Another girl I have recently met is a BEAUTIFUL BLACK QUEEN and she's EATS THIS BLONDE GIRL UP! She is always giving her compliments, trying to talk to her, and she's basically kissing her ASS. For some reason, this really pissed me the FUCK off at first. I was like YO? Why you not revolting like me? Then I realized..... Just like how I resented this queen for being "perfect" my beautiful black queen wanted to be accepted by her, even if it was just for a little bit.

THEN, I realized DEEEEEEEEP down in my soul, I wanted her to accept me too. But, my approach was fueled with anger because society's definition of "perfect" and I just don't seem to fit that mold.

I am gonna be honest, I resented her. She didn't deserve that. No one deserves that. Obviously, there had to be some version of me deep down that is hurting. So, I decided to sit with myself.

First, I needed to forgive myself. I felt like I was being a "mean girl" Even though I wasn't necessarily mean to her, I just didn't talk to her. It was unlike myself and my values as a person. I had to recheck myself and ask myself "does my behavior align with who I want to be?" and that answer was "no <3" I forgave myself by acknowledging that I am HUMAN. I am not perfect. I am allowed to experience emotions. But, I am not allowed to give this girl the silent treatment because she's everything that I am not.

Next, I sat with myself and realized that I am "That Girl" too. I gave myself the love that I needed. I asked myself why I didn't feel beautiful? Then, I realized that I have been really harsh on myself lately. I have been fueling my mind with negative words, which has left my soul feeling lost.

So, I looked at myself in the mirror and analyzed myself. I realized that I has beautiful long eyelashes too. I realized I workout and have an amazing body too, I have amazing teeth, I have gorgeous BIG BROWN EYES, I am kind, I am aware, I am loving, I am compassionate, I am unique, I am BEAUTIFUL!

Then, I did what needed to be done. I went to THERAPY and I talked about what I was doing wrong. We talked about my negative emotions and she put me in my PLACE. (Which I needed.. Even though I didn't wanna hear it)

Then, I started talking to this girl at work. At first, I was uncomfortable AS FUCK. But, after getting to know her, I realized I actually like her. I didn't hate her. I just disliked what she represented because of my own personal prejudices (THATS RIGHT! Black and mixed ppl can be prejudiced too OMG! NEWS FLASH)

I honestly wanted to be her. But, I realized I can only be the best "That Girl" I can be.

At first, I felt so uncomfortable talking to this girl. But, after getting to know her and talking to my therapist, i found a newfound sense of peace. I didn't dislike her. I just disliked what she represented with my own personal prejudices. I didn't hate her. I wanted to be her. But, I realized, I can only be the best "That Girl" I can be.

OKAY--- STORY TIME IS OVER!

WE'RE NOW GONNA TALK ABOUT ACTUAL STEPS YOU NEED TO TAKE TO BECOME #ThatGirl.

1. IDENTIFY YOUR VALUES--- WHO ARE YOU?

I google searched a list off the most common 200 core values. From the list, I picked the top 30 to me. Then, i chose the top 10. Then, I chose the top 3. After I made this list, I realized the words that I would use to describe myself, but also the different qualities I look for in a person. (meaning friendships, relationships, etc.).

2. Choose things that you want to do and get them DONE.

I have been reading a bunch of self discipline books and the first thing they tell you is to "Wake Up Early" Listen, I think that's a bunch of bullshit. I don't care self help people. I AM NOT a morning person. In fact, I actually HATE the mornings. I HATE THEM! HATE HATE HATE. If I don't have to get up early then I WON'T! #real. But, this doesn't mean I am any less disciplined than someone that wakes up at 4 am. *shrug* I am still getting my shit done and still putting in that effort. It's just not on your "time" and that's totally fine. Also, I've tried the whole "waking up early" thing and I am ALWAYS disappointed. It is unrealistic for me to get up at the ass crack of dawn and go to the gym, then make myself a gourmet omlette. But, I will go to the gym after work... because thats realistic for me.

3. BE REALISTIC.

Dude, be realistic and stop expecting instant gratification. If you wanna be an instagram model, you are gonna have to start posting on your instagram more frequently;

which means your gonna have to start taking more pictures. You are going to have to learn EVERYTHING you can about becoming an instagram model. You're gonna have to learn algorithms. You gonna have to post videos. You're gonna have to... PUT IN THAT WORK. You can't just be like "UGH! I wanna be an insta model" and then post on insta once a month... that's not how that works? #real.

4. REALIZE THAT SHIT ISN'T HANDED TO YOU.

Everyone expects everything to be handed to them. But, this life is hard work. If you wanna be at the bottom percentage of people. Don't put in that work, be lazy, be in the bottom 20%. But, that's not what I see for myself. I want to be something great. I want GENERATIONS to be taken care of because of the hard work that I have put in. I want my grandbabies to be okay, I want my great grandbabies to be okay. So, I need to put in THAT WORK.

Okay baby loves, that's all I have for you this week! Thank you all again for being so patient with me as I have been rebranding the website and trying to make everything perfect for you all.

I LOVE YOU SO MUCH! LEARN FROM MY MISTAKES. BE THE BEST YOU THAT YOU CAN BE!